The night of the storm, when I learned of the fate of my home, it was more than I could handle... Seeing it in person was so much worse than that. Thankfully, my mind took over and focused on survival mode. For the past three weeks, I have mostly dealt only with things that are related to or as a result of the storm. That's everything from looking through my foundation for anything I could save, calling credit card and insurance companies and getting my new apartment in working order. The other things that I love so much were no longer a part of my life. I didn't run, read blogs or even go to work (yea, I like work). I went through the motions of getting homework done with the boy and as of this week, getting the little one back to daycare. However, don't ask me to remember what I did last week or what I need to do on Saturday, and herein lies the problem.
My house is gone forever, and nothing we can do will change that. Insurance appointments are almost done and we just have to wait to find out our financial fate. Now, I have to figure out how to get out of the fog and go on... but how?
I used to get the kids up and out to school without a hitch. Now I get anxiety thinking about who's going to be late due to the new level of traffic post-Sandy. There are still some traffic lights out and the number of construction and emergency trucks is almost unbelievable. Additionally, I now have an extra 20-25 minutes getting to the old 'hood to get the boy to school.
My company has been so supportive and patient, but I need to get back into the world of working people again. However, I cannot imagine spending eight hours a day dealing with "work problems" when my house is in the weeds. Add a 1-2.5 hour (post-Sandy) commute and I don't know if I can keep it together?
The one part of the world I miss the most is my fitness/blogger world. I miss reading what's going on in everyone's lives and who is running what marathon this Spring. I also miss talking about my goals and marathon training. Of course, some things also ended with the storm. My marathon training came to a crashing halt. I ran my 20 miler and began to taper. My taper became an end to all things health and fitness. I didn't run, workout or even eat responsibly throughout this ordeal. I need to get back to a healthy body and a healthy mind. That said, I started today. I ran! Do not ask how far or how fast. I lost my Garmin 610 that hubby got me last year :( . I just threw on some running clothes (that's all thanks to New Balance, Abby and friends and Theodora) and headed out the door. I ran up by the beach, my usual route. Sadly, the beach was battered and closed. Most of the houses and businesses along the street were destroyed or badly beaten. There were police and trucks everywhere and where I used to park to run, there was a FEMA site set up. I almost cried several times during the hour that I ran. However, I did realize that I must keep moving forward, but things will never be the same...